FREEDOM FROM THOUGHTS
“Be still, and don’t believe your thoughts, and don’t believe your thoughts, and don’t believe your thoughts.” ~ Unknown
We live in a culture that worships thoughts, bows down to thoughts as truth…and yet, if we slow down and watch our thoughts even briefly, we can start to see just how crazy the mind can be.
It was a fundamental shift for me when I learned that you can watch your thoughts without believing each one.
I used to have such an intense relationship with thoughts. Each thought wielded incredible power, it would bring with it a tangled ball of emotions, impulses, sensations. If a thought passed through my mind, I thought it was important, that it meant something crucial about me or about life. I believed them. I remember feeling such guilt and shame for thoughts that would arise, pushing them away as “bad” afraid that these thoughts could define me so I must hide or destroy them.
Through the study of Buddhism, Mindfulness and Somatics, I learned a different way to be with thoughts. I learned that the mind simply creates thoughts constantly, that thoughts are attempts to understand the world through our limited mental models. I also learned how our moods and body states can create certain thoughts: Depressed mood/somatic state will elicit depressed thoughts, an anxious body state will begin to create anxious thoughts. I began to see it more as a biological process, like a burp or a fart, versus this profound revelation that must be analyzed and taken as supreme knowledge.
I also began to develop an awareness of this other part of me. The part that could be AWARE. The part that could notice and witness a thought versus be fully wrapped up in it. There is a profound difference between completely believing a thought of “I am so stupid, I hate myself” and noticing “I am having a thought that I am so stupid and I hate myself."
As soon as you are AWARE, you are accessing a different brain state. If you can stay in this awareness, and bring curiosity and maybe even kindness to the experience, “hmm, interesting, this thought is arising, I wonder what is going on for me?” you may be able to relate TO the thought rather than FROM it.
If I were to experience bad stomach cramps, I might begin to wonder, “what is happening to my body, what might I be reacting to, what might I need and how can I best take care of myself right now?” I don’t make the cramps mean something about me, I see them as a symptom of an imbalanced state and my goal is to help the body release, shift, rebalance so it can come back to a healthier state. Can we do the same with thoughts? "Ahh, this thought is arising, how can I help bring myself back into alignment."
After much practice, I am grateful to say that my relationship with thoughts feels so much lighter now. Watching thoughts over time has helped me develop an incredible sense of humor about the thoughts that arise unbidden in my mind. They still come, and yet rather than bowing down to them as absolute truth, I watch, with a kind, humorous, curiosity, the way the mind plays, judges, the way it takes a kernel of truth and weaves it into an elaborate story, the way it teases and scolds…all of its ways. From a slight distance, I can appreciate, and even enjoy it’s meanderings, as they no longer control me. I say “hello mind, I know this is just your nature, look what you created today!” I can take care of my mind, if I notice it’s going down a sticky path, my witnessing presence is there to lend it a hand and a way out. Not judging, it’s just doing what minds do, and minds can do marvelous things we just may want to notice how much power we are giving over to it.
I have learned that the mind is a better tool than a leader. I want something deeper, kinder, and wiser to guide me.
Practice -
Just right now, for a moment, shift into your witnessing presence. The part of you that can notice your thoughts. Without giving the mind any direction, just as if you were sitting in a movie theatre, looking at the screen, sit patiently until you notice a thought arise on the screen of your mind.
Note it, without judgment, “ahh here is a thought”
Or you may categorize the thoughts “Here is a worried thought” “Here is a planning thought” “A fantasizing thought”
Just practicing noticing the thoughts arise, seeing them as mental events, and then noticing, if you don’t feed them by thinking them, how they seem to pass away, leaving the screen, floating by like a passing cloud…softening their hold when we don’t invest in them.
See if you can let that be ok, just for a few moments, to let thoughts arise and pass on your mental stage, while you practice staying grounded in the curious, kind witnessing state. Perhaps even adding a loving sense of humor to watching these wild brains we have inherited as humans.